No Title Yet
by Snuffles208
Summary: Dea finds out about the People. She is forced to stay at Fowl Manor until the People can figure out what to do with her. Simone's still there, someone is gone. Someone will die...and guess whose fault it is?
1. Chapter One

FYI Kris was reading this and of course she mistakes the ship and asks...asks...asks...I CAN'T SAY IT...AHHHHH...EPPP...okay Sry, just FYI this is a Artemis/Dea fic and Dea is based partially on Kris...so we all know there's NO way for her to become a Mary-Sue...ducks the nylon girth that Kris chucks at her any ways...on to the story

DISLAIMER: BREAKING NEWS!!! I DON'T OWN AF!!! WOW!!!

Has ANYONE SEEN THE NEWSIES??? IF YOU HAVE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK OF GABRIEL DAMON AS ARTEMIS! (Better than Thomas Sangster)

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Life sucked. That's what Dea was thinking as she was lead into an underground office. A short red-faced man was sitting behind the desk. Her kidnapper pushed her into a chair and left.

"So Miss. Dea. How did you discover us?"

"It's a long story, really," she said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

"We have all the time in the world, get talking." The man pulled out a cigar and began to puff on it and Dea took a deep breath.

"Well, it all started last month...."

-Flashback-

"Give it up, Dea. Fairies DON'T exist," said Charlie the leader of their gang.

"They do to! And I'll prove it!" she shot back.

The rest of the gang sighed. Dea had been convinced Fairies existed ever since the group had hacked into the Fowl files. Well, after she had hacked into the files. And their gang wasn't your typical gang. It was just a group of teens, teens that knew how to hack, fight, bargain and steal. They lived on the streets and ruled the entire poor side of town.

"They don't!" Charlie stormed into the bombed building that served as their offices.

"They do...AND I'll prove it to you."

"Fine. Take the 1990 and a week. Then get back to work!"

So Dea constructed a scanner that traveled under ground. It had been very successful. So successful that it had managed to break into the Operations Booth. Of course then the LEP had sent an officer after her to mind wiped her. The mind wipe had been completely unsuccessful and had backfired on the officer.

-End Flashback-

"So now I'm stuck down here," she finished.

A centaur walked into the room. Dea didn't flinched; you saw stranger things on the streets.

"Good news only, Foaly," grumbled the man.

"Well, I'm not sure if you'd count Fowl getting his memory back as good news, Julius," said the centaur quickly.

"DO NOT call me Julius. How many times do I have- what was that about Fowl?"

"Uh...well, you see." Foaly rubbed his neck, "He, uh...got his memory back?"

The man turned the darkest red possible.

"I could have sworn that you just said Fowl got his memories back, donkey boy."

"Uh...yes?"

"Are you telling me or asking me?" Said the man rising from his chair.

"Telling."

"Do you know what this means for the people? Do you know what can happen? He's a real threat! He knows all our secrets! He can take over and...and..." the man sputtered a few curses.

"Not really, Julius. I don't think he'll do something like that. He's changed a bit and, I can't believe I'm saying this, but he'll be fair and-"

"FAIR? FAIR? You're saying that a FOWL will be FAIR?"

"We really can't do anything about it, besides monitor his actions carefully."

"Yes, we will monitor his actions carefully. In the mean time, you're NOT leaving you're lab UNTIL you have perfected EVERY LAST PART of the mind wiping system. Clear?"

"Like a goblins stupidity, Julius," answered the centaur and headed out the door.

"Oh, and Foaly," said Root with the air of one giving out sweets, "Your salary is cut in half until next month."

"What! Why?"

"Don't ever call me Julius, donkey!" Root slammed the door in Foaly's face.

Dea started laughing, she couldn't help it. They were so funny, the man with his red face and the centaur with his pouty expressions. Root wheeled towards her.

"You think that's funny? Well I've got news for you, Miss. You're going to the Fowl residence until we can think of what to do with you."

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Dea's POV

Foaly had sent the Fowl boy some sort of message explaining that they knew he had regained his memory and that I would be coming over to stay. Turns out the boy's parents were in France for a month so they would not be in the way. I was escorted by Captain Short incase the boy felt like arguing.

"I feel sorry for him." Holly's words came drifting over to where I sat, a good ten yards away from the door, outside of which, she was having a conversation with a giant.

"You mean her?"

"No...she's part of the...top member."

The giant gave a low whistle and glanced over at me. I continued with the task of cleaning my fingernails with a twig.

"Right, I'll tell Master Artemis to give Foaly a call." The giant rose and beckoned me in. The fairy flew away into the night.

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The giant led me into a large sitting room where a pale boy waited.

"Thank you, Butler." The giant nodded and backed out. I gasped, a Butler, one of the Butlers, wait until I told Charlie!

"Please sit down Miss. Dea. I don't suppose you have a surname?" said the boy in tones cold enough to freeze water.

"Oh, I do Mister..."

"Fowl," supplied the boy.

"It's Nuhad, Dea Nuhad. You might have heard of me," I said knowing full well he had.

"Ah, the famed Nuhad gang. I believe you use the screen of Goddess when hacking?"

"Yes, I do. How are your stocks doing?" I asked smirking. I switched some of his stocks around. Hey! I was bored.

The boy showed no emotion. "Very well, thank you. This has been a most interesting chat," he reached for the walkie-talkie. "Butler take her to the new holding cell." Butler's answer was short and a second later he came through the door. I gave a chuckle. Butler sure did trust me. He trusted me so much that he was lurking behind the door the whole time. Then again, working with the Nuhad gave you that reputation.

"If you'll follow me please, Miss. Nuhad." I turned and followed him out the door.

"Oh and Butler, I need a new disk, tonight, preferably," said the boy before Butler shut the door.

"Yes sir." Butler led me down a long flight of stairs into a dim corridor.

"You know, 'a new disk' is the lamest excuse I've ever heard of for getting the night off."

Butler glared at me and continued walking.

"Oh, sure I get it. Just friendly competition, nothing else like it in the bodyguard business."

One of our members had recently beaten Juliet for a bodyguard spot. She wasn't too bummed; she had received her letter of acceptance for the wrestling team the next day.

"Your so called 'best' made a few crucial mistakes," said Butler.

"Hey, take it easy there, that's my student you're talking about. It's not my fault he happens to be an idiot as well. Like employer like bodyguard, I always say. And who said he was the best?"

"YOU train him? How old are you?"

"Oh that's nice. Didn't you ever learn not to ask a lady's age? Sixteen, same age as the idiotic statue up there." There, I had broken the law. I had insulted the guy's charge. Sure to win me a one-on-one match.

"Being so smart, you do know that I can challenge you right now?"

"How'd you know that's not my point?"

"I'd have never guessed you were suicidal."

"Who said its me who's gonna be on the mat?"

Butler shook his head. "I would challenge you but-"

"You're to old. Your life force was required for that healing, I'm not stupid."

We had reached the cell. Just as well because Butler looked shocked. A normal person couldn't have told, but years with Charlie had taught me how to read a persons signals. And at the moment Butler was giving out very shocked vibes.

"Here," I reached into my pocket and pulled out what Charlie called 'Miracle Powder.' "Half a teaspoon once a day and you'll never have guessed that you were brought back from the dead. You might want to keep it quiet. The stone head wouldn't approve of it. Seeing as how he don't approve of us." Butler took the packet and opened the door.

"Good night Miss."

"Good night, Butler. Tell me, this cell has a restroom, right?"

"Of course Miss. See you in the morning."

"Or maybe before that." I whispered as he left, locking me in.

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I headed towards the bed in the first room. The other door led to the restroom. There were two camera's surveying the room. After flicking them off I headed to the restroom. There, just as I had thought. Vents. Maybe I would pay Mister Stone head a surprise visit. I used my knife (which Butler had missed in his quick search for weapons. You'd rather not know where I had it hidden on my person...nothing to gross, not like Ted, he hid his knife, well, that's entirely off topic) to pry off the bars. I stood on the toilet and squeezed my upper body into the opening. Tight fit, but it would do.

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"What do you know about her, Butler?"

"She's apparently on the top in the Nuhad. Don't let her tiny frame fool you. She's got to be very good at fighting and the likes."

Artemis watched Dea flick off the camera. "Do they teach bad manners or is that just a habit?" he asked.

"Well, sir. You've got to understand that these teens aren't your regular street gang. A boy whose father ran a defense academy started them. When he died the boy was thrown into the streets. He started to gather together some kids who looked like they had had enough of being treated like rats and they set up a hacking/stealing group of kids. They were well taught in self-defense along with most body guarding skills. They are actually quite talented."

Artemis thought for a while. If Butler said they were talented then they were talented. Hmmm this Dea girl, long brown hair, rather short, skinny, accomplished hacker, he would have to think about this.

"Butler did you find her family records like I asked?"

"Yes sir. Turns out she's an orphan," Artemis nodded. He had suspected it.

"Is she adopted?"

"Yes, turns out that the leader of the Nuhad had adopted her. Charlie is his name."

Artemis nodded again, his brain going into a trance.

"There is one more thing you should know about poor side. Dea has most likely been-"

"Thank you Butler." Artemis snapped out of his trance. Butler nodded and backed out. It was his night off. If anything happen, Artemis just had to call and he'd be there within two minuets.

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"Hack into her file or into her leaders file?" Artemis asked himself as he turned on his laptop.

"Neither." replied a female voice. "You won't be able to."

Artemis spun around and found Dea hanging from the vent.

"What are you doing?" He asked.

"Just hanging around." She snickered.

"I find that less than amusing. Please return to you cell."

"Um...I think not."

"Miss. Nuhad. You will return to your cell immediately."

"Or what? Going to send the boogie man on me?" she joked.

"Very well, you may stay there as I work." Artemis turned back to the screen. After a few minutes he found Dea correct. There was no way to access her file. Not without the password anyways, and his technology couldn't break in.

"I don't suppose you'd give me the password?"

"Sure, I wouldn't." She answered

Artemis gave her a blank look, which she returned. A few seconds passed, then Artemis turned back to the screen.

"Password: Sure, I wouldn't." said Artemis as he typed it in.

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Artemis finished reading her file. Dea was bouncing around his bedroom. He did not really care as there was close to nothing in his bedroom. Of course he was going to learn the hard way that you should never leave a hyper girl alone.

Artemis turned away from the screen. He had learnt a few disturbing things about Dea and was ready to finish analyzing the facts when he realized that would be quite impossible.

Dea had pulled all the sheets, blankets, and pillows off his bed and was currently jumping up and down in the pile.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Having fun," she replied, "Come get me."

Artemis didn't he might fall and that would be very undignified.

"So, did you have fun reading my file? Quite the horror isn't it?" She stopped jumping and flung herself onto the bed. "Abandoned at a young age. Adopted by a young boy...and of course the whole part about Charlie having to pretend I was his daughter so Social Services wouldn't take me away...how old was he then...twelve? I can't believe they bought it," said Dea dramatically. "And I'm sorry to say that was the least disturbing part. So, did it scar you for life?"

Artemis did not wish to admit how it nearly had. Instead he said.

"I found it quite informative."

Dea stared at him. "You've got a weird sense of information."

"Yes, now if you do not mind putting the bed back in order and leaving."

"Sure, I'll leave. But I won't put that back into order. Where's your food stock? I'm hungry!" Dea headed out the door, Artemis staring at her. After all she had gone through she was still this happy? Some people... He followed her out. There was NO way he was letting her roam The Manor unattended.

---------KITCHEN----------

"Daaang!" Dea exclaimed as Artemis opened the walk in fridge. "Do you keep an army or something?"

Artemis frowned at her.

"I know we can make s'mores!" Dea began jumping all over the kitchen pulling out chocolate, marshmallows, graham crackers, and candles.

"Do you have a light?" She asked.

"No I do not. Furthermore- what in the world are you doing?" Dea had stuck her hand down her shirt.

"Getting a light." She pulled out a cigarette lighter and lit the candle. She then proceeded to roast her marshmallow over the flame.

"Ah, yes this is the life!" She said biting into a s'more. "Want some?"

"I'll pass, thank you."

"Why are you _always _so uptight and cold?" Dea asked.

"Because I am very much your superior and better."

"Sure, whatever."

"My turn."

"For what?"

"To ask you a question."

"Fire away, or don't. You might hurt yourself."

Slightly annoyed, Artemis asked, "Tell me where the Nuhad is located."

"Oh everywhere."

"Please, do not be too specific," he said sarcastically.

"Well, Charlie lives near Butler. He's lived there forever. Why, when he was eleven he remembers seeing Butler teach his sister spinning kicks in the sandbox!"

"Butler, teaching Juliet, spinning kicks in a sandbox?"

"That's what I said! My turn! Have you ever made your own bed?"

'Yes, once. We were on a camping trip. How did Charlie find you?"

"Wow, aren't we into the family genealogy! He found me outside a sweatshop. I was two at the time."

"Oh, really?" Artemis's eyebrows flew up suggesting that he had something to say but before he could there was a knock on the window.

"Hey! Hacker! Open up!"

"Charlie?" squeaked Dea.

"Hey, munchkin!" Charlie slipped into the room. He was tall with flaming red hair and an ear piercing.

"Charlie, Artemis, Artemis, Charlie." Said Dea introducing the boys.

"Pleasure," said Artemis quickly getting over the shock of the fact that this boy had gotten through every security measure he had installed.

"Oh, no. The pleasure is all mine," said Charlie although his eyes told a different story.

"So, Dea. Why are you in her?"

"I busted the fairies, they locked me up with this psycho who also busted them."

"Makes sense, lets get you out of here."

"No can do. I've been put under some spell thing. I can't leave."

"I'll have Pip bring over some of you stuff."

'Thanks,"

"No problem. Nice meeting you, Artemis, and thank you. That security was quite fun."

The boy slipped back out leaving a stunned Artemis and happy Dea behind.

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Artemis headed back to his room. The night had been quite stressful and he was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before the morning. Unfortunately, this would not be the case.

"Hello, Mr. Fowl." Artemis was pinned to the wall.

"Hello, Mr. Nuhad. How may I help you?" Always stay calm; Artemis took a few deep breaths.

"Well, Dea seems to be forced to stay her, but that's your problem. Do you understand? Maybe not, so I'll make it clear. Do not hurt Dea. In any way, shape, or form. If you do, the entire Nuhad will be on you. We know who you are, where you live, and how to get in here, don't tempt us." Charlie pushed Artemis even closer to the wall. He put a hand on his throat and pushed. Artemis gasped for breath. "Is my point clear?"

"Yes!" gasped Artemis.

"Good." Charlie let Artemis fall to the floor.

"Remember, we're watching you."

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You like? Even if you don't, REVIEW!!!

Snuffles


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: waddaya kno...I'm A) a female B) way younger than Eoin C) not the owner of Artemis Fowl...WOW!

Technically you CAN go through vents if your small enough and you have large vents...don't ask how I know this.

Thank you to all of my reviewers!

**Whitepaw**- Thank you! I read Ur bio...very happy! When I find time in my crazy life I shall read Ur story! (That goes for the rest of my happy reviewers...unless I've already read Ur stories and left one of my hyper reviews)

**bored56-** Thank you! And what do you know! I updated

**neutralgal**- Thank you! I can't think of a title! HELP! Please tell me any ideas you have!

**Seitsuuno Megami** – Thank you! I'm glad you like Dea! Please feel free to tell me what you think about her in later chapters

**TeenTypist-** THANK YOU!!! I feel so loved! Five reviews!

**Hollywood Dreams**- Thank you!

If any of you have gotten my hyper reviews I apologize for scaring you...I'm not always that hyper...well, maybe I am...

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"RIDE THE RIVER OF DREAMS! ONLY YOU, KNOW THE WAY...YOU WON'T BE COMING HOME FOR MANY A DAY!"

Artemis woke up to a loud screeching sound that echoed through the manor.

"WHEN THE WAVES AND RAPIDS DO APPEAR...JUST FOLLOW YOUR DREAM AND IT WILL STEAR YOU CLEAR!!!"

He rolled out of bed and grabbed the mike that connected him to speakers all over the house.

"Miss. Nuhad, would you PLEASE stop that infernal noise?"

"RIDE THE RIVER OF DREAMS! PAAANNNCAKES ON THE TABLE, BUT THEY'RE ALL GOING TO BE-FOR-ME! UUUUNNNLESSSSS YOU HAPPEN TO GET DOWN HERE, WIIIIITTTHIN THE NEXT TWO MINUTES!"

Groaning, Artemis headed over to his closet to decide what he was going to wear today, his black suit, or his blue one? He had just come out of the bathroom, adjusting his tie when Dea burst through the door.

"Pancakes, pancakes, eat them while they're hot!"

"I, what?"

"Paaannnccaakkess," said Dea slowly speaking, as if to a stupid person. "Yyoouu eaaaaaat theeem."

"Yes I know what they are and what you do with them, but why did you make them?"

"Because I was dead bored. You sleep soooo dang late. I've been up since God made dirt making these." She thrust a plate and fork at him then plopped down on the floor and began to eat.

"I usually do not involve myself in such barbaric habits as eating in the middle of the bedroom without a table."

"Uhh, great. Sit." Dea reached up and yanked Artemis down. "See? You didn't shrivel up and kick the bucket!"

"No but I-" He was interrupted by Dea reaching over, grabbing his pancake and stuffing it in his mouth. "Less talking, more eating!"

----------------------------------------------------------

"Anywhere special?" asked Butler as the group headed out of the Manor; Dea was skipping around the fountain.

"No, just the usual." Artemis turned to make sure Dea hadn't broken the fountain. He was not willing to pay for its repairs. "Actually, yes. We must get Miss. Nuhad a new wardrobe. If she is to be staying at the Manor she must be wearing appropriate clothes."

Butler nodded and opened the door for Artemis and Dea. Once they were out on the main roads, Dea started to talk.

"Where are we going? Can we go visit Charlie? Can we-"

"NO," said Artemis. "We are going to a few stores then to get you some appropriate clothing.

"What's wrong with what I have on?" Dea asked glancing down at her faded jeans and t-shirts.

"I'll tell you what's wrong. You look like street trash. If you are going to be staying at my residence you will dress the way I want you to."

"Zowie! Can you say, 'control freak?'"

"That is not acceptable, and we must do something about your accent,"

"What's wrong with it?"

"It sounds awfully common."

"Oh, and I suppose you'd rather if sounded as dry and stupid as yours?" Asked Dea with a perfect imitation of Artemis.

"That is not funny. I expect you to act civilized at all times."

"Something tells me this is gonna be one long stay."

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After spending long hours in various technology shops, Dea was bored, she could build half of this stuff in her sleep, so when Butler suggested she stay in the car she jumped at the chance. The last shop took them the longest of all so she decided to take a nap. When she awoke, they were pulling up to the Manor.

"Bloody hell, what time is it?"

"It is nearing four, Miss."

"Well that's cheesy. What is for dinner?"

"I believe it will be rack of lamb with a rosemary rub, for the entrée, and Mozzarella di bufala and Heirloom Tomatoes as a starter," answered Artemis.

"WHAT?" Screeched Dea. "You're gonna force me to eat that mumbo gumbo?"

"That is a-"

"Nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh, no. I am NOT eating rich people food! No WAY hoseh!"

"I must insist that-"

"NO! YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO DO ANYTHING!"

'Very well, if you insist on behaving like a child then you shall not eat dinner."

Dea thought about this for a while then nodded, "Okay, I won't eat dinner."

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Dea peered down at Butler through the vent. He picked up the plate and headed out. Perfect. She slid down and landed as gracefully as a cat on the counter. Grabbing a pot of water and a few packages she shimmied her way through the vent system and back to Artemis's room. When Artemis returned he found Dea sitting on his desk eating a plate of spaghetti.

"May I ask what you are doing?"

"No,"

"I beg your pardon?"

"No, you can't ask what I'm doing. Though you being the 'genius' you are should be able to figure it out."

"You are sitting in MY room eating instant pasta. Disgusting."

"Yep! Sure is!"

"Leave now!"

"No-can-do!"

"Do not make me force you!" Artemis took a step towards Dea. She jumped up and backed into the desk in the corner.

"You can't make me!" She stuck out her tongue at him.

"I cannot, but Butler can."

Dea turned around leaped onto the desk and vanished into the vent. Artemis did not notice what she took with her.

--------------------Dea's POV-------------------------

"Okay Mr. Know-it-all. Time to show you who's the boss." I waited in the vent in Artemis's room. He was sleeping as it was past one in the morning. Butler was on the other side of the manor; this was all perfect. I slipped out and landed by his bed. I grabbed his laptop and slid out of the room. Working my way down to the kitchens, I clicked through his files and accounts. Time to give Arty a little scare.

"Lets see," I sat down on the counter by the fridge. "First lets lower this number." She worked quickly, hiding half the money in the account. Unless he contacted the head bank, Artemis would think that the money had just disappeared. Better yet, she made it look as if she had spent it all shopping.

"Now just order fifty empty boxes to be delivered...."

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The next day passed without incident, unless you count Dea attacking Artemis with water balloons. Artemis spent the rest of the day in his room. On Saturday morning, there was a knock at the door. Butler answered it and was met by a deliveryman with a bunch of boxes.

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"Miss. Nuhad. I do not suppose you could tell us the meaning of all these boxes?" asked Artemis as Butler piled them up in her room. She was lying on her bed reading a paper.

"Yeah."

Artemis stared at her for a while. "Well?"

"I took your credit card and went shopping."

"You, did, what?"

"Went shopping. HEY! You wanna help me decorate?"

"No, I want you to show me what you bought with my card."

"Clothes and room décor. I was thinking about electronics but I don't like to buy those over the web."

"Butler, lets go." Artemis walked out, followed by Butler.

Dea smirked. He had fallen for that, hook, line, and sinker.

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"Butler dial up the head bank. I need to check something."

"Yes, sir." Butler handed Artemis the phone.

"Hello? Yes Fowl here. Could you tell me the current amount in my account. Yes. Same as before? But I hid half? Uncover it please. Very well thank you."

"Butler, I believe you may want to inform Miss. Nuhad her plan has failed."

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"Hey, Stone face! Where are your parentals?"

"They are currently in Paris. Why do you ask?"

"Because they just called."

"And you picked up?"

"No, Butler did."

"Thank goodness!" Artemis hurried out to the phone.

"Hello? Arty?"

"Hello, Mother. How is everything?"

"Oh its just fine. We have a surprise for you!"

"May I enquire as to what it is?"

"No! You'll just have to wait until tomorrow evening. Have Butler pick us up at the airport. Toddles!"

"Mother-" It was too late; she had hung up.

"Now how am I supposed to explain you to my parents?" asked Artemis staring at Dea.

"Well, mate. I'm just visiting over the holidays." Dea put on a deep masculine voice and a boyish swagger.

"Come on! It'll be a blast!"

"No! I'm going to have to tell the fairies to just lock you up in one of their cells." Artemis headed towards his room and found his way blocked by Dea.

"You would like to know what the surprise is, wouldn't you? If I help you figure it out, you let me stay, crystal?"

"Very well, but disguised as a boy."

"Of course, now lead the way to your wiz boxes, I'm gonna hook us up to Pack."

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Dea sat at one of the computers pounding away. In less then a minute she had them connected to Pack, which Artemis took to be their communications line.

"Hello, Bottles into base."

"Pack is receiving."

"Hey big man!"

"Pack is the guy who designed this system he runs it 24/7," explained Dea.

"Pack, Its Goddess, I've got a bit for you."

"Fire away Goddess. How's life, Charlie was more angry than a skeet when he came back."

"You mean angr-"

"Yeah? Well shut up grammar boy, no one cares!" said Dea.

"Pack, do we have a cam on the Fowls?"

"Yeah, Charlie had one done up."

"How many tickets did they buy for their flight home?"

"Three, why?"

"How does he know that?" asked Artemis.

"Don't worry, he's not stalking your family. Pack knows everything," chuckled Dea.

"Sure forget about old Bottles, why don't you!"

"Sorry, Bots. Connect you to Charlie?"

"Yeah," There was a loud beep followed by a few curses.

"Anyways, where did the Fowls stop in Paris?"

"Lets see, a bunch of restaurants, two hotels, lots of stores, a boarding school, and a foreign exchange office."

"Right, thanks Pack. Say hi to Charlie for me!"

There was a hissing noise and Dea quickly shut down.

"So, stone face. Does that answer your question?"

"Yes, its does."

"Do you know why?"

"I-"

"Nope, you don't and I'm not gonna tell you!" Dea bounced out of Artemis's room, laughing.

Artemis shook his head. He hoped that the student his parents were bringing was not like Dea. Poor Artemis, he didn't know there could be worse.

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MUAHAHAHAHA!! Just wait until you meet her...LOL! If you have any good name ideas for a teenaged, French girl please share them! Oh, and you might not want to suggest name you like...she is going to be pure evil.


	3. Chapter Three

THANK YOU SO MUCH! You all rock!

Disclaimer: wow these things get so annoying, I don't own Artemis fowl. I own Dea and Simone...If you have a problem with that call me at 1-866-2BAD.

Actually, Simone was created with Lily's help. So snaps for her!

ON TO THE STORY!

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"Oh, Stone face! Where art thou?" Dea slid down the banister and landed in the front hall, just as Artemis and Butler walked in with a new computer.

"_Another _computer? How many do you have?"

"I hav-"

"Thanks, I don't really care" Dea said following Artemis to his study, Butler had gone into the computer room.

"What did you do while I was gone?"

"Nothing at all!" Said Dea giving Artemis her best 'I'm innocent like an angel' look.

"I can tell you did something," he replied.

"Well, I broke a pair of your best scissors cutting my hair...and I messed up the closet looking for cloth strips...."

"You did what?"

"I broke a pair-"

"Yes I know. Show me how it looks."

Dea pulled of the baseball cap to reveal a mass of shoulder length hair, cut in a very masculine way.

"I cannot believe I agreed to this," said Artemis as he circled Dea. "What, If I'm allowed to ask, are the cloth strips for?"

"Use your brain, stone face!"

"I-"

"I what? Still don't know? Come on! Think!"

Artemis racked his brain trying to think of a reason she would need cloth.

"I do not, oh..."

"Right, took you long enough!"

"Well, I apologize for the fact that my brain does think of those facts!"

"Good thing mine does, or your parents would come home and wonder if the new style at your school is for guys to get fake breasts!"

"Miss. Nuhad. That is entirely unacceptable."

"The name is Draven. Draven Forrest Wolf Demien to be exact."

"Why so unusual, Mr. Demien?"

"Because, _Artemis,_ I feel like it, savvy?"

"Very well, _Draven_. Now I think you should go redo your room and closet, so that it will not appear feminine in any way."

"Already done. Now I have nothing to do!"

"Then why don't you go pick your outfit? You are coming with Butler and myself to the airport." Just as he finished talking he found his arm, twisted behind his back. (AN: on of my fav. moves)

"You're not ordering me, are you Artemis?"

"I was merely suggesting."

"That's good then!" She let him go and skipped in the direction of her room.

'For someone as small as she is, she sure has a powerful grip.' Rubbing his shoulder, Artemis headed up to the library.

---------------------------------------------------------

"No way are you wearing that!" Said Artemis, exasperated at having to repeat himself.

"I am to!" Dea pouted and stamped her foot.

"No! You look like a common idiot."

"Well, excuuuse me for not looking like Little-Mr.-Business-Man!"

"I must-"

"Get in the car? Great! Lets go!" She pulled Artemis towards the gate where Butler was waiting with the limo.

Artemis got into the front seat, leaving the whole back open for Dea.

"You know, she could have chosen an outfit that was much worse," said Butler. The division stopped Dea from hearing the conversation.

"I cannot imagine an outfit worse than a pair of black jeans and Dragon's Fang shirt."

Butler shrugged and turned the topic to where the exchange student would be staying.

"I think we could put them in the west wing?" Said Artemis choosing the room furthest from his.

"I'll arrange for that."

"Hey, Artemis? Why didn't you put me in a guest room? Lord knows you have enough of them," came Dea's voice through the intercom. Both Butler and Artemis started.

"Hello, Draven. Please remember to change the intercom system back to normal before we arrive."

"Okey-dokey!" There were a few clicks and a hiss then the division went down and Dea's head appeared.

"Impressive system!" Said Dea. "Took me one minute to change!"

"I must ask you not to fiddle around with our limo intercom systems. My parents would be displeased."

"And _lord_ knows we wouldn't want to displease them!"

"Draven, I will ask you one last time to act your age."

"Actually, you've never asked me that before!"

Artemis pushed the button to make the divider go up, quite pointless really. The next second it was back down and Dea had stuck her head through to enquire when they would reach the airport.

"Very soon," replied Butler.

For Artemis, it couldn't come soon enough.

--------------------------------------------------

As they pulled into the airport, Dea gasped. She had been expecting the normal, public airport. Not a privately owned one.

"Zowie! Your family must be soaked in cash!" Artemis glared at her as they walked into the main building.

"Arty! How are you? I've missed you so much!" Artemis disappeared in his mothers hug as Dea did her best not to laugh. "We have a surprise for you, Arty! An exchange student from Paris! Her name is Simone Amblur." His mother stepped to the side to reveal the girl.

Simone was leaning against her suitcases; her long blond hair cascaded down to her tiny waist. She had on a tight V-neck shirt and the shortest possible skirt. She was wearing blue eye shadow, and what Dea thought to be at least three tubes of mascara.

"Hello, _Artemis_. I have wanted to meet you for ever so long," said Simone tossing her hair over her shoulder and heading towards Artemis. Dea glanced at Artemis. His face looked blank but she could tell that this was his worst nightmare come true.

"Miss. Amblur, a pleasure to meet you. Might I add that your English is impeccable?"

"Why thank you, Artemis, but you must call me Simone."

"Very well. Might I introduce to you to Draven Forrest Demien? He is staying at the manor."

"Is this one of your friends, Arty? Then we must get to know each other better!" Angelina Fowl took Dea by the arm and headed to the limo saying, "Now, I want you to tell me everything thing about yourself!"

Artemis's father helped Butler and Juliet with the suitcases, leaving Artemis to escort Simone.

-----------------------------------------

"This is your room, breakfast is at eight. If there is anything you need please don't hesitate to call me," said Butler. He had been given the task of showing Simone to her room.

"Wait a second, am I supposed to unpack my bags, _myself?_"

"Well-"

"That's what I thought. I'm going to go take a bath and when I come back I expect all my bags to be unpacked."

Butler sighed; this was going to be one long visit.

---------------------------------------

Artemis sat down at his desk; he was in a foul mood. (AN: LOL foul mood!). He decided to find out a little more about this Simone person. He quickly managed to access her school file. It didn't say much; just that she was an exemplary student and had been accepted to four of the best colleges. "Not better than me though," said Artemis.

"Of course not! She got accepted into four MODELING colleges!" said Dea in a sarcastic voice.

"Miss. Nuhad! I would appreciate it if you would stop popping into my room through the vents!"

Dea grinned then flipped onto his desk. "Oh, dahhling! Moi? Pop? How dare you suggest such a thing?" Dea blinked her eyes rapidly in a perfect impression of Simone. "If you want to find out more about her, you must let the expert take over!"

"I doubt you'll be able to find anything I can't."

"Trust me, Artemis. Her father owns the largest model company. Any dirt on her is going to be under more than lock and key."

"And I am able to deal with that."

"Not without this, you aren't!" Dea held up a small locket.

"Where did you get that?"

"Miss. Amblur is well known amongst the Nuhad," said Dea her eyes hardening. "It is common information that she is to dull to remember her passwords, so she keeps them all in a locket around her neck."

"And you took this locket from her?" asked Artemis, outraged.

"So?"

"That is no way to treat a lady!"

"A LADY? You obviously don't know the Amblur family very well! Or maybe you're just to thick to realize the real reason she's here!"

"She is here as an exchange student!"

"First of all, the school she goes to does not have an exchange program. Secondly, if she was truly an _exchange_ student, wouldn't you be in Paris right now?"

"Not necesar-"

"No, shut up!" And with that Dea turned and disappeared.

Artemis sighed and turned back to his computer. He closed the program he had been working on; something Dea had said was still in his head. 'Miss. Amblur is well known amongst the Nuhad.' What had she meant? Well, it was time to find out. Working quickly he opened her files then connected to the main Nuhad network. Traveling through pages of research he was amazed at the Nuhad's organization; he quickly copied the system into his folders. He turned back to reading the file on Simone.

_Simone Amblur_

_Age-16_

_Height-5'3_

_Weight-101.01lbs_

_Eye color- blue_

_Hair color-blonde_

Artemis skipped through the descriptions. They had everything from her blood type to fingerprint for gods sake!

_Miss. Amblur is most commonly known for her part in the death of Charlie's sister. Unfortunately the case was written down as a driving school accident and the fact that it had been a fatal blow, never acknowledged. _

Artemis's frown deepened, he had a lot of thinking to do. Unfortunately for him, he missed something at the bottom of the page: the last sentence.

_The Nuhad has reason to believe that the Amblur modeling company is going bankrupt and the owner has devised a plan to bring them back to riches. We hope this plan does not include some of our major 'donors' in money. The Agkle Industries, The Grants corporations and The Fowls._

(AN. there is no Fowl industries if you remember from the Eternity Code)

------------------------------------------------------

"So darling, why don't you and Simone spend the day together? Butler, you and Juliet can have the day off. And Draven, dear, maybe-"

"That's okay, madam. I have a book I would like to finish."

"Aren't you a sweet boy! Well, I'll see you all later!" Mrs. Fowl waltzed off with Mr. Fowl, followed by a smirking Dea, leaving Artemis and Simone standing in the hall.

---------------------------------------------------

The day had been a nightmare for Artemis. First, Simone had insisted on doing her nails then watching some movie that had characters with IQ's of zero. When dinner finally rolled around, Artemis found, to his dismay that Simone was to be dining with him as Dea and his parents had already eaten.

'Are all girls like this?' he wondered as he watched Simone tossed her hair and chatter on about the rising price of haircuts.

"Artemis, are you even listening to me?"

"Of course, Miss. Amblur."

"Oh, don't call me Amblur. It's such an ugly name! Save it for when you can call me Mrs. Fowl..." Simone's eyes widened.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Nothing! I think I'll turn in now, Artemis. If _you_ don't mind."

"Not at all, goodnight."

Simone left, leaving a trace of her perfume behind, and a lot for Artemis to consider.

---------------------------------------------------

Butler headed over to the practice rooms in the Lodge. He hadn't been in there ever sine he had been shot and now seemed just as good as any time to get back on track, or at least as close as he could get. For some reason, the lights were on in the room and he heard a 'thwack' every few seconds. Quietly, he snuck up to the door and flung it open only to find Dea practicing her flips on the mat.

"Miss. Nuhad! What are you doing here?"

"Practicing. I haven't for days. And please call me Dea. Unless we're up at the manor, then all me Draven!"

"Okay, Dea. Don't let me bother you." He headed over to the weight section of the room. After a few minutes, Dea switched to kicks. Butler paused to watch her; she was very good, no doubt about it.

"You know what you're doing wrong?"

"Well, if I did, I wouldn't be doing it, would I?"

"Point taken. See the thing is, your not twisting your foot. You twist your hips, which gives you the power. But if you don't twist your foot, you block some of that power. Here, watch."

-----------------------------------------------

Juliet walked into the practice room after being forced to give Simone a massage. She shuddered and decided to go punch the punching bag for a while. She opened the door and found Butler explaining to Draven why you twisted your foot. She smiled; he had drilled it into her too.

"Brother! You'll scare Artemis's guest."

"Please, call me Draven. You must be Juliet."

"You guessed right." Juliet took a few steps away from him then towards.

"Hmmm...D'you mind spinning around?"

"Not really," he spun around.

"That's what I thought. So your name is _Draven?_"

"Yes,"

"Okay..." Juliet looked suspicious. "Now, this will sound rude, but are you a guy or girl?"

"Juliet!" reprimanded Butler

"Girl!" laughed Dea. "Is my disguise that easy to look through?"

"Nah, its just, I don't know, well, Artemis doesn't have any friends at his school, and also the fact that there are traces of nail polish on your toes...it just adds up."

"That makes sense, you want to join us?"

"Sure! I've been dying to beat someone up ever since that Amblur girl made me give her a massage, Bleh!"

-----------------------------------------------

Artemis decided to check that Dea was in her room, before turning in. His brain had turned off for the night, leaving any thinking until the morning. He pulled the camera in her room onto the main screen. Nothing. Artemis decided to check the Lodge to see if Butler or Juliet were there. He found all three, Butler, Juliet and Dea sitting around the coffee table, playing cards. As he watched, Juliet said something and Butler and Dea laughed. Butler laughed, not a grim chuckle but a real laugh. Artemis wondered what Butler and Juliet were like when they weren't guarding him. For a moment, he felt left out. Here he was, alone while they were having fun, but then he shook his head and the thought left him.


	4. Chapter Four

AN: PLEASE, PLEASE don't try to correct my usage of words or technological knowledge, I know that different places use different terms; my friend and I confuse each other 'cause she uses different terms then what I'm used to. And also, I've been a computer/ internet/ other addict for umm...my whole life, I might do stuff differently but oh well; it's a free country!

Falls on floor laughing Ow... the barn floor is hard! DEA A MARY SUE???? Please! She is _partially _based on KRIS (get her name right or she'll hunt you down) the singing, the favorite lines, a few situations...

**Cybergurl-** that so nice of you to say so! I'll try to keep the chapters long!

**Char Char-** Hey brat! How's life at the Lodge? Carrots is up 4 u!

**Demie-** See above, and thank you for taking time out of your day to drop me two reviews!

**STR1-** you are the winner of my BEST REVIWER AWARD!! YEAH! Thanks so much! I'm planning on using one of your names

**Skeptica-** Please hang on until other chapter roll around, and then tell me if you think Dea still needs work

**Whitepaw- **Poor Arty, it's not a guy! Oh well, Pancakes are happy!!!! You win the umm...OH! Happiest Reviewer Award!

**You'll never know-** or will I? Dun, dun, dun. Did u like my blue tights today? I'd rather not know what's in the tater tots.

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"Oh darling! I must paint my toes! Even though they smell like stinky cheese!" Juliet did a fake faint and landed on the couch.

"That's almost exactly like her! Only she flutters her eyelashes, like this!" Dea started fluttering her eyelashes. Butler stood up and looked at the clock.

"I'm turning in. Dea can stay over. It's too late for her to be going back up to the Manor. She'll set off all the security alarms."

"Good night!" Chimed Juliet and Dea.

"Great, now with him gone, why don't you tell me about yourself?"

"There's not much to really say."

"You could tell me how you broke out of that room."

"Through the air vents. It was way to easy."

"Who taught you _that?_"

"Oh, Charlie did. He's simply the bee's knees!"

"What?"

"The best. I've known him forever."

"Really?"

"Yeah, ever since I was a baby. He had a fun time fooling social services."

"He's your Dad?"

"Eww! Gross Juliet! No, he 'adopted' me. But in the records he is my dad. Okay, now I'm going to barf."

"Please don't."

"Not really."

"You know you're crazy?"

"The number of times I've been told that. Charlie always tells me I'm gonna be locked up in the happy home one day."

Unfortunately for Dea, Artemis happened to be listening. And unfortunately for Artemis, Simone walked in just as Juliet said,

"I've got this new green eye shadow. Wanna see?" And Dea, or Draven answered "Sure!"

"Atry-mus. I was hoping you'd still be awake!"

"Miss. Amblur! What a surprise. Why aren't you in bed?"

"I couldn't sleep, I kept thinking about _you_," she said walking up to him. She slid onto the desk next to him and frowned at the now empty screen. "Did I just hear Draven say he wants to see Juliet's eye shadow?"

Artemis frowned at her, "No, why would he say something like that?"

"Oh, well. I thought we could talk..." Simone bent her head and giggled.

"I'd rather not," he replied.

"But we really need to know each other better," Simone said sliding even closer to Artemis. He, looking extremely uncomfortable, pushed his chair away and stood up.

"It's late, and you need to catch up on some sleep," Artemis propelled her towards the door, "Goodnight."

"But, Arty..."

"Goodnight!"

------------------------------- HI IM KRIS AND I AM TYPING NOW!!!-----------------------

"Butler, as you may have noticed, my parents are trying to set me up with the Amblur girl."

"Yes sir, I have."

'Of course he had! Butler noticed everything, I'm really losing my touch,' thought Artemis.

"Miss. Amblur came in today. I think she suspects 'Draven'. We need to think of a reason for him to leave and for Dea could arrive. I was thinking something along the lines of Juliet's friend."

"Yes, very good. I shall arrange for it."

"Good," Artemis severed the connection; it had been one long night.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"Mrs. and Mr. Fowl. I would like to introduce you to Dea. She's my friend and I was hoping that you wouldn't mind if she stayed for a while." Juliet had dragged Dea up to the Manor to 'introduce' her before breakfast. Dea had tied back her hair and let Juliet attack her with make-up.

"Of course not, Juliet."

"Thank you!" She speed out followed by Dea; Butler met them in the hall.

"So? Did they buy the reason why Draven left?"

Juliet gave him a blank look, then gasped in horror. She had forgotten about that.

"Master Artemis is not going to be happy," he groaned.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Simone was snooping around the Manor. She could just imagine herself living here. First of all, she would bring in her interior designer. This place needed an update. Then she would-she stopped in front of Artemis's door and pressed her ear to it.

"What do you mean, THAT'S THE IDEA?"

"Please, calm down."

"WHY SHOULD I? I GAVE YOU ACESS AND YOU TURN THE WHOLE NETWORK UPSIDEDOWN?"

"D-"

"I can't believe this."

"Feel better?"

"NO! Do you KNOW how LONG IT TOOK ME TO SET UP THAT SYSTEM? IT WAS THE BEST! AND TODAY I'M INFORMED YOU BETRAYED ME?"

Simone chuckled. It looked like she suspicions were right. Artemis and Draven were having a lovers spat.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"I am so sorry, Mrs. Fowl. But I feel it is my duty to inform you!" Said Simone through false tears.

"Yes, yes of course dear. I just cannot accept the fact."

"Maybe you should talk to them?" asked Simone smiling, this was going perfectly.

"No, Artemis said Draven was leaving, could you just get Artemis?"

"Yes, Mrs. Fowl." Simone left the sitting room and headed to Artemis's room.

"Oh, Artemis!"

"Yes?"

"Your mother would like to talk to you. Where is Draven?"

"Draven left earlier."

"Oh, well, I heard you arguing with him, anyway. Your mother is waiting."

Simone skipped out the door, leaving Artemis to put the two and two together. (AN: and get five! Sry barn joke)

The second Simone left; Artemis turned to his desk and opened a line to Haven. He'd need Foaly's help on this one.

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"So let me get this straight. You're calling us because you WANT us to hack into the camera recording, and change 'Draven's' image into Dea's?"

"Yes," Artemis replied patiently.

"Because your parents think you _like_ Draven, who is actually Dea?"

"Foaly, listen. Just change the image, please. And I do not like Draven or Dea."

"Okay sure, Artemis, I'll just enlist Captain Short to help me." Foaly broke the connection. The fairies were going to get a good laugh over this one.

------------------------------------------------

Dea was sitting in a spare room in the Lodge. She had done a lot of moving around in the past few days. She was just closing her book when Simone came in.

"Thanks for knocking!" she flared.

"Well, its not like you should have something to hide. So you're Juliet's little friend? How sweet."

"Unlike you."

"I'm sorry, I didn't catch that."

"I said UNLIKE YOU,"

"Well, don't we have a temper? What did I say?"

"Nothing, go away!"

"Now, now, that's no way to treat a lady."

"Screw you," Dea stood up and shoved her out of the door. Simone banged into the wall, bruising her forehead.

-------------------------------------------------------------

"Why that's terrible. Of course I'll report it!" Simone was talking to a policeman.

"Thank you so much, sir. You are truly a noble man." The officer smiled and walked away, chest puffed out. Simone turned and started the walk back to the Manor. No policeman was brave enough to go through those iron gates. And the fact that the last policeman to do so had to be taken to a mental facility didn't help. Yet so far everything was good, Dea would be arrested and Draven was gone. She had messed up, informing Mrs. Fowl of their conversation after Draven had already left. She had been hoping that Draven would get kicked out. But there was no need for that now; she hoped that Artemis could worm his way out of trouble. (AN: MUAHAHHAH Sry...who the heck is Artemis?)

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"Is there anything you would like to tell me, Arty?" asked Angelina Fowl as Artemis can into the room.

"No, Mother. Why?"

"Well, Simone, such a sweet girl, informed me that you and Draven were, ah, having a disagreement?"

"You mean Dea and I were having a disagreement."

"No, honey. I'm quite sure that it was Draven who felt that you betrayed him. Are you sure you wouldn't like to tell me something?"

"I am positive it was Dea, mother. See for yourself." Artemis opened his laptop and selected the camera files. "Here, my room. You can plainly see that it is Dea not Draven."

"Very well, sweetie. How are things going with Simone?"

"As well as can be."

"That is good. Positive there is nothing you wish to tell me?"

"Yes."

"You may go."

----------------------------------------------------

Dea was heading up to the Manor to meet Juliet. She was just passing the gate when a policeman stepped out and grabbed her arm.

"Miss. Dea Nuhad? You are under arrest for an extreme display of anger."

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"Charlie!" Pack yelled over the intercom system. "Charlie!"

Charlie started and rolled out of his hammock.

"I'm comin'! Gods Pack, must you raise the dead?" He hurried through the bombed out factory that served as their headquarters until he reached the basements. The basements were the pride of the Nuhad group. Kids and teens would work on projects down there. There was a testing room, two labs, a junk room, an electronics room, and of course, Pack's room. Pack was the only one with some sort of education beyond high school; he had gone to collage for a year.

"What is it?"

"The brainless twits have taken Dea."

"On what charge, this time?"

"Lets see, oh, once again, anger."

Charlie groaned.

"Look on the bright side! The new guys can get some practice."

The group had a very simple procedure. First, send in the wise guys to try to argue the way out, if that failed, bribes and promises, and then they sent a group in the get that someone out. If that failed, which it never did, Pack took over and sent in the specialists.

-------------------------------------------

Artemis sat quietly on his bed thinking about everything that had happened. For some reason, he couldn't quite grasp-then it clicked. He had typed in her password wrong, and for some reason accessed a fake profile. That's why she looked disturbed at his comment, and that was also why the fact that she had a six-year-old son made no sense. Artemis opened up her files, again and this time accessed her real profile. He scrolled through it, nothing new...except...she had done what? Quite shocking, really. What else, she had been arrested over seventeen times for displays of anger. Artemis smiled. This was too perfect.

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Hi Im Kris, yeah...anyways...I typed this so you all have to review and say how great it is.

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GRR!!! This is Snuffles, please excuse Kris, she has taken my account and is posting this chapter and only letting me add this footer. I promise I'll do the next one.


	5. Chapter Five

A 30second authors note follows-

Artemis is slightly OC

Juliet will most likely kill me

I typed this at 3AM

I only own Dea and all the random color gang crap that came out of eating popcorn for breakfast

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"'Ere now Miss! We've got to go now!"

"Where are you taking me?"

"We've 'ad explicit orders not ta tell you who order us to take you to Stonefields."

"STONEFIELDS?" Yelped Dea.

"Yea, er...oops."

"Artemis. That's the only person who could have me done into Stonefields."

"Lets go now. Through the door." The man tried to push her into the van, but Dea wasn't a Nuhad for nothing. She took out the man and two of the guards before one of them tagged her with a sedative.

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"Arty! Guess where we are going!" His mother sang out as they waited for the limo to pull up.

"We are going to the new restaurant in town."

"Oh Arty! You're so smart!" Cooed Simone, hanging onto his arm.

"Would you mind letting go of my arm?" Artemis attempted to shake Simone off.

"Oh no! Or then I might fall!"

"And that would be a terrible shame."

"Now, Arty. Be polite."

"Yes Mother."

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"NO!"

"Dom! Please?"

"No, and don't call me Dom."

"Dom, no one can hear us and I want to drive!"

"No and No! Jules, hear me out! It's dark, we're going down to town. You could crash."

"Please?"

"No! And don't give me that look!"

"What?"

"Juliet!"

"Please?"

"FINE! You win. You can drive."

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"Butler is late with the Limo." Sniffed Artemis Senior.

Artemis Junior watched as the car pulled up to the Manor. He could tell it was not Butler, but Juliet who was driving. Butler always started to slow down as he approached the Manor. Juliet had sped right up to the door.

"Let us get in dearie, we must not miss our reservation time."

----In the restaurant-------

Butler stood guard over Artemis and Simone's table, not paying any attention to what they were saying.

"So then _he_ said that my shirt looked awful and that it didn't match my skirt but then Marijon came in and said _he_ didn't know what he was talking about and that the shirt..." Simone trailed off. "Artemis, are you listening?"

"What is it Butler?"

"I hear it, Artemis."

"_Arty! _Listen to me!"

There was a soft humming noise coming from the ceiling. Butler surveyed his options. They were in a private room. There were no waiters and the Limo was right outside the door.

"GO! Artemis. Run, for the car." Butler had identified the noise. Cutters, someone was drilling in through the ceiling. He grabbed Artemis and Simone and pushed them through the door. He made sure Juliet got Mr. And Mrs. Fowl out before pulling out his gun.

"What is it, bro?"

"I'm quite sure it's a ETC cutter."

"Butler, why are you worried about a cutter? It could be a repair man for all we know."

"No, this place was just built. And ETC's aren't used on ceiling work.."

"But-" Just as Juliet protested three black figures appeared from the ceiling.

"Listen to the big guy, little girl. We're not repair men."

----------------------------------------------------------

"I think it's terrible rude of him to shove us off like that. I would give him a talking to, Mrs. Fowl."

"Miss. Amblur, it is Butler _job_ to 'shove us off like that'."

"Arty. He was rude. I would never allow _my_ servant to be so rude."

"Butler is not a servant. Neither is Juliet."

"Of course Butler is our servant! What do you think he is? A friend?" Mr. Fowl started to laugh. He was joined by Mrs. Fowl and Simone.

"A friend! That was funny, Mr. Fowl."

"Eh...Artemis. I don't see you laughing. Surely you do not think of Butler as a friend?"

"He is more of a friend then you will ever be, Father." Artemis left the car.

"What? Where are you going?"

"To see what is happening."

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"What do you want?" Asked Butler warily as both he a Juliet moved into a defensive position.

"Nothing, just hand over the _Mayinu_ and we'll go."

"The evil?" Hissed Juliet confused.

"We do not have this _Mayinu_ you search for."

"Of course you do. Maybe we aren't making ourselves clear? Lets try again. We are looking for the Goddess, the Hacker, the Nuhad brat?"

"We don't have anyone who fits that description."

"She was reported near your residence. Where is she?"

"We don't know anyone who fits that description." Butler said calmly.

"Maybe some persuasion will help." All three figures lifted guns and pointed them towards Juliet.

"Now, big guy. Or should I say, _Butler_. Do tell use where Dea Nuhad is."

"You call that persuasion? Shoot her for all I care. I have never heard of the Devi Nuunnu person."

"Very well. We shall leave. But don't think you've seen the last of us." The figures disappeared back up into the ceiling. Once Butler was sure they were gone he turned around and grabbed Juliet in a fierce hug. "No, you are staying home from now on!"

"Sorry, Dom. I'm a legal adult now, remember?"

"Legal adults are supposed to had common sense! Ow!" Juliet had whacked him in the arm.

"Butler, Juliet. Is it all clear?"

"Yes, Artemis. Nothing major. But I must ask you, where is Dea?"

Artemis frowned and started to explain.

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"So let me get this straight. You threw Dea into a insane asylum?" Asked Juliet. They were in Artemis's office, listening as he explained the situation, again.

"Yes, Juliet."

"You threw her into an insane asylum?"

"Yes,"

"An insane asylum?"

"Yes!"

"You sure you threw her into an insane-"

"Butler-"

"Juliet..." said Butler he gave her a 'lets-shut-up-now' glance.

"Hmph, that was a stupid thing to do."

Artemis glanced at her cooly then turned back to one of his computers.

"Butler, do you remember anything specific about the leader of these people who broke into the restaurant?"

"He was tall, short hair, dark eyes. I'm estimating him around 5'9. He was wearing all black except for a blood-red band around his left arm..."

"Blood-red?"

"Yes,"

"Now, blood red means the Berbuat group. I have classified them by the colors they use to identify themselves. I would also like to mention that I find this kid run gang thing very juvenile and pointless. Needless to say, it does affect us to some extent. There are four major gangs, the blood red, the yellow, the blues and the oranges. From what I can discern, the reds are allied to the yellow and blues, the blues to the orange and red, the oranges are allied only to the blues and the yellows, only to the reds. Not think, Butler. Was there a strip of blue or yellow anywhere on their persons?"

"No sir."

"Juliet?"

"Nope."

"Good, this means that the gangs have gone to 'war' amongst themselves. I find this whole thing rather amusing. Back to the topic, if the Berbuat are the reds, the Koty the yellows, the Dzevos the oranges, who are the blues?"

"Artemis?"

"Yes, Juliet?"

"You do know you're not making a speck of sense?"

"Yes, I assumed that much."

"Good, then I would have to say Dea?"

"Close, yes. Dea's 'gang' the Nuhad are the blues. They are no longer allied with the reds. Butler, I'll need you to go down to the streets and-" Artemis was cut off by his mother yelling for him.

"Arty! Come down here! I need to talk to you!"

"Very well, Butler, Juliet. I'll see you later." Artemis left the room.

"No Juliet. Don't even think about it!"

"Come on! I know you're interested!"

"No. I will not."

"Ten bucks its about a proposal."

"Ten bucks its not."

"Deal, you're gonna loose!" Juliet skipped out after Artemis to go eavesdrop on the conversation.

-----------------------------------------------------------

"Mother, this is absolutely ridiculous. I am just sixteen!"

"Arty, yes. But she is such a sweet girl. And her father seems very eager to confirm this match."

"End of discussion, Artemis. You may think you are smarter, but we are your legal parents and have every right to arrange this marriage. After all, our marriage was arranged and it turned out well. There is no reason why this one won't."

"Mother, Father. I will see you at dinner." Artemis left the room.

"I just don't understand, dear. Why isn't Artemis confiding in me?"

"Don't worry, He will open up to you. He knows this is a good idea. Why! Now he doesn't have to worry about his future until he is eighteen and happily married!"

"I guess you're right, dear. I just wish he would tell me what he thinks."

----------------------------------------------------------

"Why me?" Artemis was pacing the short length of Butler's room.

"Why are they doing this to me?"

"You could stop th-"

"No, I already checked. Everything they are doing in one hundred percent legal."

"You could try something illegal."

"Like what? I would like to try to talk some sense into them, but they just will not listen."

"Maybe-"

"Thank you, Butler. I think I'll leave now."

Butler nodded, understanding. Artemis had gotten an idea.

------------------------------------------------------------------

"It's just _wrong_ Juliet. Don't you see? I have to go and talk to them."

"And get fired?"

"They wouldn't fire me. Why would they?"

"For actually daring to talk to them? You know, Butler, they've changed. And I'm not sure if it's for the better."

"Don't speak ill of your employers, Juliet," said Butler, automatically.

"Just don't forget to give me those ten dollars before you leave."

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"It was nothing!"

-----------------------------------------------------

Butler knocked on the sitting room door.

"Enter!"

"Good evening Master Fowl," said Butler.

"Ah, Butler. What brings you here?"

"Sir," he started, "Master Artemis had suggested that he isn't too happy about this arrangement with Miss. Amblur."

"And how would you know this?"

"I, Master Artemis told me."

"So you are the one," stated Mr. Fowl smiling evilly. "You are him."

"Sir?"

"Very well, Butler. I shall discuss this with him."

"Thank you sir."

"You may leave."

"Yes sir." Butler turned and headed out the door. Just as he was about to close it Mr. Fowl called.

"And, Butler?"

"Yes sir?"

"Pack your bags. You are to be gone from these grounds by noon. Juliet stays but you are never to return."

-----------------------------------------------------

You like? Review! You don't like? Review! Then I can respond to your rude review with a rant. Rants are soooooo fun! So, make me smile! Review!

Constructive criticism is ALWAYS welcome. Stupid flames are laughed at by everyone who reads them.

**A woman needs two animals: The horse of her dreams and a jackass to pay for it.**

Don't you love that quote?


	6. Chapter Six

Chapter Six

Wow my creativity Daemaeon has been busy! So here is chapter six. It is sort of sad. Not really. Juliet will kill me.

Big thanks to Yamachanis myman. Your review made me very happy, for some odd weird reason. Did I say Dea is smarter than Artemis? Didn't mean to...oh well. And Dea's past...that's a whole separate thing that I shall type up for you all one day when its 4am and I'm sugar high. Feel free to suggest any flaws you can think of for Dea...don't we all need anger management?

Do you know what I've always wanted to do?

audience NO NO NO!

Too bad, anyways I've always wanted to go 2 a psychiatrist and freak them out a...bit. Wouldn't that be fun...You could be all weird and screwy and they would be like they're crazy and I would go MUAHAHHAAH! Sound fun? Call 1800- IDO-OWNARTEMISFOWL and pay me a million dollars...sees lawyer copying # down...er that is 1800-IDONOT-OWNARTEMISFOWL

Thank you to my reviewers, you all rock! This chapter kinda stinks...oh well

Snuffles208, Daine, Talia, Butler, the crazy werewolf...

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And after we finish, I have an important announcement," said Mr. Fowl as they ate lunch the following morning.

"Father, I see no reason why you cannot tell us now."

"I said _after_ Artemis, do not bother me." Mr. Fowl pushed his plate aside and got to his feet stiffly.

"I can tell you now, as I am finished. I have just recently changed the number of staff in The Manor. As of now, Bu-"

"Master Fowl! Madam! Butler is gone!" Juliet burst through the doors.

Mr. Fowl sighed, "Thank you Juliet, for announcing it for me. Yes, as of now Butler is now no longer a Fowl employee."

"What?"

"Just like I said, Artemis. I have fired Butler."

"WHAT?" screeched Juliet. "No! When is he coming back?"

"Never, I'm afraid."

"Never? That's it, I quit." Juliet slammed her fist onto the table.

"I am afraid you cannot, dear. You are my employee and will remain so for the next few years as the contract you signed states."

Juliet stared at him. Then very slowly she walked up to him. "It is nice to know that." She dropped into a low spinning kick and broke the two table legs near her. She then jumped up and ran out before Mr. Fowl could realize that all the leftover lunch food was sliding down the table, directly at him.

------------------------------------------------------------------

Butler strode out the gate and down the road. He had left his car for Juliet and taken only what he really needed. He was working on autopilot. Fowls _never_ fired Butlers. Ever, no matter what. Having finished that train of thought, his mind turned to where he was going to stay. He turned left and headed to the poorer side of the city. He had a few friends who would be glad to help get him a place. He could have just headed towards any apartment rental office, but Mr. Fowl had only let him leave with a certain amount of money. The Butler account in the bank was filled, but he didn't want to draw out of his savings. He could live without it. Deep inside he was excited, finally something had happened. Something other than the daily death threats Artemis received. He had just turned the corner when two boys appeared.

"Butler," they bowed deeply. "We extend our invitation."

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"ARTEMIS!" Juliet's cry startled Artemis from his sleep.

"You flippin' little son of a b-"

"Juliet! May I ask why you are in my rooms, late at night and calling me unappropriated names?"

"Well first of all, I got lowered to MAID! Me a maid? No, I don't think so! And why didn't you protest?"

"Protest to what?" Asked Artemis with his know-it-all smirk.

Juliet had had enough. She let her fist fly, hitting Artemis right in the eye.

"Ow!" he yelped. She turned away from the side of his bed and marched to his files. "Now up and at them, _Master_ Artemis. If you don't have something in these files that can bring Butler back to us then I'll skip getting my blue diamond."

"What? No Juliet, do not touch those fi-" Too late, Juliet had yanked open the nearest cabinet. The handle did not recognize her finger prints and went into a security lock mode.

"Look what you did! Do you know how long it will take me to unlock those things with out alerting my parents?"

"Ask Dea to do it for you. After all, she is the technological genius."

"Juliet, Miss. Nuhad is not here."

"Oh, right. You sent her to a mental facility. Stupid."

"I needed to get rid of her. The fairies cast a charm so she couldn't leave without true consent. One way was to send her away to a mental facility, being her 'guardian' I gave full, true consent."

"Well, now you can get to work thinking about _how_ we're going to get her out. If you tried to get her released your father will find out, our other option is a breakout."

"A breakout? I think not."

"Artemis, the time when you had options was in the past," Juliet placed her hand on his throat. "We break her out, now get to work."

----------------------------------------------------------------------

"So this is the famed headquarters?" asked Butler as he dropped his bag.

"Yes sir!" said a very enthusiastic boy. "Dinner is at nine, wake up is at five thirty. Just call if you need something."

------------(AN: can you guess where in the world is Butler?)-----------

Dea turned towards the nearest nurse. It was late and getting dark.

"I want to go to the bathroom!" she demanded.

"Of course Miss. It's so nice you're using your words."

"NOW!" she screeched.

"Yes, this way," the nurse said leading her down the white hallway.

"I had a turkey once! His name was BK!" she babbled.

"Yes, you did! Now, I'll be right out here if you need me, okay?"

"His name was really BK!" Dea continued as she hurried through the door. The second the door was closed she sighed. Playing a mentally insane person 24/7 was straining. Fortunately she was in a less intensive care ward and the bathrooms had ground level windows. Pulling out a shirt and pair of jeans from under her ward issued dress she changed and pulled out her lock pick set. Stonefields must be going under. She thought as she managed to open the window and crawl out. She had already memorized the guard positions and managed to slip easily by them. Now all that was left was waiting until the guard turned and climbing over the wall.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"See? I told you we could get in here," smirked Juliet as the slowly made their way along the wall of the building.

"I do not see why I am here."

"You are here as an expandable fool. Now shut up." Normally Juliet wouldn't be so mean to Artemis, but this was technically all his fault. "What's that?" She spotted a crouched figure.

"Who's there?" the figure issued a challenge.

"None of your business. Who are you?"

"If I told you, your life would end."

"That's a big threat for someone so small," commented Juliet as she crept closer.

"Oh yeah?" The figure jumped up and Juliet could see their face.

"Dea?"

"Juliet?"

"What are you doing out here?"

"Taking my pet turkey on a walk."

"Your wh- Never mind, I won't ask."

"Don't, what's Stoneface doing out here? I didn't know he could come this far. Come to think of it, I didn't know he run, walk, survive-without-a-computer at all."

"I will take that as a complement and point out the fact that we had three minuets before the next guard is due."

"So lets go!" Juliet grabbed Dea by the hand and started running towards the outer wall. Once there they had to wait for Artemis to catch up.

"How are we going over?" asked Dea.

"Why don't you tell us how you planned to get over single handed?"

"I was going to climb, but I doubt that is an option for you."

"I-"

"Shut it. I brought ropes, we'll climb up the Artemis, we'll pull you up."

"No yo-"

"Two minutes," said Dea.

"Right lets go, before the guards get here." Juliet grabbed a rope and started to climb up, Dea followed leaving Artemis standing on the ground. Once they were on top of the wall, they threw a sling like creation down to Artemis. Very unwillingly, he sat down on it and let Juliet and Dea haul him up.

"Godsཀ Do you know how heavy you are?" gasped Dea as she collapsed.

Artemis frowned at her. "I would have thought that you would be able to handle my weight, obviously I was wrong. You are weak."

SMACK. Dea had slapped Artemis across the face.

"Strong enough for you?"

"Right, as much as I hate to break this up, we should get moving," suggested Juliet.

"How are we getting down?"

"I left some padding on the ground. We should be able to jump and land safely."

"_Should?_"

"I believe they are right here. Juliet?"

"I see some dark shape, but" Juliet squinted in the dark, "I'm not positive."

"I am almost one hundred percent sure this is where they were, one minute."

"I'll jump and make sure they are set, okay?"

"Are you crazy? You might die!" said Dea.

"Fifty seconds, Juliet, jump now."

"I'll call up if they are there." Juliet paused then dropped over the edge.

One second, two seconds, three...then a soft thump.

"Okay! There they are!" exclaimed Dea.

"Juliet?" Called Artemis. "Is it safe to jump?"

No answer.

"Juliet?"

"JULIET!" Screamed Dea. Still nothing.

"Please answer!" There was no answer, no noise, nothing.


	7. Chapter Seven

1To all my reviewers....A BIG THANK YOU!!! Last chapter was kinda bad because I typed it at around 3am....this should be a little better even though nothing really happens this is sort of a exlplaintory (is that a word?) chapter. Next chapter should be 10x better. We see a bit of Holly in the next chapters.

**hey does anyone know the exact schooling process of the Butlers? In the first book it says they attend a Swiss Academy when they are ten but in the third book it says they attend Madame Ko's academy at ten. I am VERY confused so in this chapter All Butlers go to the Swiss academy at age 8 return at age ten then go to Madame Ko's academy....k? Please correct me if I'm wrong. **

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!!!!!

Snuffles

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Butler bolted up. Something wasn't right. He stood up and headed out the door towards the Fowl Manor. He didn't know why, but something told him to head over there.

------------------------In the cemetery------------------------------------------------

"For so did you ordain when you created us, saying, 'You are dust, and to dust you shall return,' and all of us shall go to dust yet even at the grave shall we make your holy song: Alleluia, alleluia, praise God for he is good. Amen."

A faint amen echoed from the small group as the grave was sealed. Artemis and Dea had gotten Juliet's body back to the Manor where Artemis had told his cover story. He had been coming back home from a store when he saw Juliet laying on the ground dead. The Fowls had believed the story but, needless to say, Dea was disgusted.

-----------Back up at the Manor-------------------------

"You flippin' idiot! Its all your fault!"

"Would you be quiet? I did not see you making any protests!"

"Well how in hell was I supposed to know where you left the padding?"

"Would you just leave me alone? Go somewhere, but stay out of my parents way, and Simone's."

"Just wait until Butler finds out," Dea left muttering darkly.

Artemis paled.

----------------------------------------------------------

"What do you mean you won't let me in?" asked Butler in a dangerous voice.

"I've had my orders, sir. You aren't to enter."

Butler let out a roar and slammed his fist into the side of the guard house leaving a good sized dent.

"Why not?"

"I've had me...order?" squeaked out the guard. Butler stopped, there was no doubt he could force entry, but then he would be trespassing and he didn't need law problems. He turned and left.

--------------------------------------------------------------

"Artemis!" Purred Simone, "Some help would be appreciated!" She was trying to move her suitcases into the closet.

"Ask one of the maids. And never enter my room without knocking again."

"Or what?" Simone leaned on the doorframe. She was wearing another one of her mini skirts with a halter top.

Artemis glared at her. "Or I will not be so polite next time."

Simone ginned evilly, "That idiot of a macho man isn't here, neither is that girl. So how are you going to stand up for yourself?"

"Unfortunately for you, Miss. Amblur, you are a guest in _my _house. Please act like it."

"Arty, why are you so mean? I just want to be friends!"

"Oh yes, and I suppose the fact that your family is going bankrupt and you need money is just a side fact?"

"Wha-"

"Do not act innocent, Miss. Amblur. You know as well as I do the reason you are here is to secure an alliance between our families."

"Well, hmph." Simone flounced out.

--------Sad Part------------------------------------

Butler knelt by the silent grave. It was a decent grave. Victorian style, complete with a bell rope that was tied to the persons hand and everything. He reached out and touched the engraving that read **Juliet Butler**. His head was flooded with memories.

_Flashback_

"_Dom?" A six year old Juliet wandered into the kitchen. "Dom, I need to get my hair in braids."_

"_Why, Juliet."_

"'_Cause my hair_ _gets in my way," she piped._

_Butler sighed, "Okay come here. I'll see what I can do._"

_Half and hour later, Butler had managed to knot every strand of Juliet's hair. Juliet looked up at him and very solemnly said, "Butler, you're doing it wrong,"_

_-----------------------------------------------------_

"_I don't want to leave!" a ten year old Juliet, her hair in braids, (he had finally gotten the hang of it) insisted. "And why is it called the Swiss Academy if its in Israel? And what if I don't want to guard a Fowl?"_

"_Juliet, what have I told you?"_

"_Every Butler, at the age of eight goes to the Swiss Academy for two years. At the age of ten they then apply for Madame Ko's, But I don't want to guard some stuffy old Fowl."_

"_Juliet, I can't help that. Now promise you'll be a good girl and won't terrorize the other kids?"_

"_I promise."_

_---------------------------------------------_

_A ten year old girl came running towards him. _

"_Butler! See? I DID graduate!"_

"_Well what a shame!"_

"_Butler!" she punched him._

"_I told you about Artemis?"_

"_Yeah, where is he?"_

"_Back at the manor, you'll meet him later."_

"_Blah, he'd probably some little brat that knows nothing about anything."_

_----------------------------------------------------------_

"_Every Butler that has come to this academy has crashed on their first flight. Do not let that happen to you." Madame Ko said as she closed the helicopter door._

_He had laughed as he read the letter, she hadn't crashed, she insisted, the tree had just been in her way._

Then the bad memories started

"_Do you have to leave?"_

"_Yes, Juliet. But I'll be back."_

_---------------------------------------------------------_

"_Please deliver this to Butler," the postman handed the man a letter._

"_Of course," he smiled then once the postman had walked away he added "I won't"_ _He tore the letter and threw it out._

_--------------------------------------------------------_

"_Juliet? Mother? I'm home!" It was oddly quiet and the front hall was different. Completely different._

"_What are you doing here?" an old man hobbled out._

"_I live here!"_

"_No, I live here. I got this house after some lady living here was murdered."_

"_You mean she's dead? Where's Juliet?"_

"_I dunno, try the orphanage."_

------------------------------------------------------------

"_Juliet?" Butler peered into the dark room._

"_Butler?" Juliet sat up._

"_Juliet, I am so sorry. Why didn't you write and tell me what had happened?"_

"_I did. I must have sent at least thirty letters. Why didn't you come?"_

"_I...I didn't know,_"

------------------------------------------------

"_Butler!"_

"_I heard it!"_

"_So what was it?"_

"_I don't know."_

"_I have to go see-" He could see the flames raging besides the Manor_

"_Butler!"_

"_I have to go. It's my duty. I'm sorry, go outside, you'll be safe." He ran out the door, the last thing he saw was Juliet staring into space with terrified eyes._

_-----------------------------------------------_

Butler sighed, once again he hadn't been there for his sister. He had abandoned her when she needed him most. _"Butler, why do Butlers always serve Fowls?"_ Hmmm...good question, Juliet. I have no idea. Absolutely none. Why did we mix with the Fowls? What did it bring us?

-------------------------Underground-------------------------------------

"Captain Short reporting, sir!"

"Ah, yes. The crazy girl Captain. Council put you on soul duty, huh? Well dearie, you can forget ever going back, no one leaves soul duty." The gnome scratched his behind and opened a notebook.

"Right, they said to put you on control of line 34G, have fun." Holly was ushered into a small room with a large control panel. Cursing, she sat down to watch the souls drift slowly by the view screen.

_-------------------------------------------_

"Butler?" Dea approached the bodyguard. "You okay?"

He nodded.

"Charlie offered you a place to stay, right?"

Another nod.

"You know, we were hoping you could show some of the younger kids some techniques? Maybe, like, just for fun?"

Butler turned to look at her.

"Or not,"

"Tell me the truth. How did she die?" He asked calmly.

Dea took a deep breath. "They came to get me, break me out, and forgot where they had placed the mattresses for our jump back down. Or maybe the mattresses were discovered and moved. I don't know. But Juliet offered to jump and well, they weren't there."

"Master Fowl Sr. called it suicide?" Asked Butler.

"No, Artemis came up with a cover story. Butler, you can't stay here," she gestured towards the grave. "Artemis Sr. is increasing all security measures. He's becoming paranoid."

"How's Artemis?"

"I don't know. Do you know how to get to our place?"

"Yeah, and thanks." Butler stood up slowly and started towards the back wall.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Dea? DEA?" Artemis knocked on the hidden door, hard. He had no doubt that this hidden room was where Dea had set up camp.

"Artemis?" Asked a voice. "Why are you banging that statue and saying Dea?"

"Dea means _goddess_ and this statue is of an animal goddess and is the key to my investigation. Unfortunately, I seem to have forgotten the correct name of this statue."

Simone came into view holding something.

Artemis frowned. "What's that?"

"Oh I found these goggles in your room. Look everything turned red and now a little man appeared. Right there!" She giggled, "Well goodnight." She flounced off. Artemis spun around.

"Unsheild fairy," he commanded.

"Or what? Now you listen, Fowl. I'm a messenger. Got it? Good." He unrolled a piece of paper and started to read. " As we the council cannot bring you below ground for a trial, we shall have one via computer. The Mud Boy Artemis Fowl II is required to be there. This trial shall help determine whether to mind wipe you again or not. Have a nice day." The fairy flew off.

Artemis turned back to the statue. "Miss. Nuhad! Now please!" The statue slid aside and Dea's head popped out.

"Hello, no, I wouldn't like to buy anything, thank you."

"Would you stop with your juvenile games and please come to my room? We had a technology problem."

"Oh and you need my help? How sweet!"

"No, actually I thought you would enjoy pretending you had a part in getting Butler back, but I must have been mistaken. Good night." Artemis turned and headed back up the three flights of stairs to his room. When he opened the door, Dea was sitting on his bed.

"Nice of you to join me, now, on to business."

"No"

"Excuse me?"

"No, I will not unlock those files. Not yet."

"And why not?"

"Because I know how to get Butler back."

"Marvelous, and I do not suppose you shall tell me?" Artemis spat.

"Nope! You have to figure it out for yourself."

Artemis sighed and closed his eyes"Butler can come back because, because..." he opened his eyes, "Because Butler is _my _employee. Not my father's. I hired him myself when I was five. Wait, how did you know this?"

"I didn't. I was just being difficult. But you see? You figured something out." She smiled. It took all of Artemis's self control not to react violently.

"Now will you please get to work on unlocking those files?"

"Yes, if you tell me your password."

A glare from Artemis silenced her and she set to work.

"NO! Don't press that button!"

"And _why_ not?" she sighed.

"Because that's the destruct button. You can tell from the wiring."

"Oh and I'm supposed to know that _how_ exactly?"

"Just forget it," Artemis said thinking it would have been better just to unlock the thing himself.

"Oh!"

"Did you get it?"

"Yes, but lets take a break."

"Wha- Very well, then will you open the files?"

"Yea....If you answer my questions."

"I will answer those question that I decide to answer. Then I get to ask a few questions in return. Agreed?"

"Sure, cheesecake and all that. Now, how did you first meet the fairies?"

So for a whole hour, Dea had Artemis telling her some of the details of his adventures with the fairies. Some of the details, not all.

"One last question, tell me about the Butlers. Everything you know."

"Miss. Nuhad, your questions always seem to need long answers. I think I shall not answer that."

"Oh dear. I suppose that I shall just let you figure this out then. Shall I?" she asked, gesturing towards the files. Artemis sighed. She could get them open, that he was positive of. When she had told him she knew how he had scanned her for any sign that meant she was lying and had found none. He could open them himself, but that would take to long. And it was grunt work.

"At the age of eight, Butlers attend the Swiss Academy in Israel. They learn basic defense technics and cooking skills. So, basically they learn to be a body guard. At the age of ten they return home and apply for Madame Ko's academy. The leave for the academy at sixteen and do not return until they have earned their tattoo. They are then assigned to a Fowl. If there is no Fowl then they go to work for someone else. Now will you to work?" It was more of a command then a question.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure, whatever." Dea slid back under cabinets and got back to work.

"And we will have to do something about your clothes."

"Wad's the matter with 'em?" asked Dea sliding back out.

"They are unacceptable. When you went shopping with _my_ card, you might have at least bought something decent."

"Okay, when?"

"When what?"

"When are we going shopping to get me 'something decent'?"

"Miss. Nuhad could you please just get back to work?"

"Sure," she slid back under, "But what's wrong with jeans and T-shirts is beyond me."

Yay! Out just before the holidays! Next chapter should be better and it might be out tomorrow as my Mom is completely against Christmas this year. So no Christmas! : ( Oh well, make me happy and review!

Cheers!

Snuffles

Ps. You all know I'm a girl, hopefully. Because I got one review (which I had to delete because of unacceptable language, it was rather funny) that seemed to think I was a guy....AND YOU DON'T SAY ANYTHING JULIET!


	8. Chapter Eight

Happy 2005!!!

REVIEW PLEASE!!!!

Snuffles208

Disclaimer- I OWN DEA!!! MUAHAHAHAHHA!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

"No, keep your back straight. If you bend it, you'll fall. Try again." Butler had returned and decided to help the kids with some kicks. Better than sitting around anyways. He was down in the basement with some kids trying to teach them exactly how to do a flying kick.

"But if I straighten, I'll fall backwards."

"That's why you lean forward. Try again."

One of the kids groaned and said in a kidding tone "You're worse than Charlie."

"Well, we _could_ always do push-ups..." Butler trailed off as a collected NO rose from everyone.

-------(AN: okay that was random but it kinda comes into play later...well it might)--------

"Got them yet?" Asked an annoyed Artemis. (AAAA LOL...)

"Mrump screw grrrr..."

"Maybe not then?"

"Don't rush me pumpkin face if you're _so_ eager why don't you get your bloody ass down here."

"Language, Miss. Nuhad"

"Listen, you be thankful I haven't decided to string your guts across the room, okay? Why don't you think of a plan to get Butler back once _I_ get the file up?"

"_I _already have." Dea sent him a death glare which Artemis received with his usual icy glance.

"Well then Mr. I'm-so-much-better-than-you, I'm all ears."

"I do not reveal important plans to people of lower rank."

"And I don't give important files to people who are rude," said Dea as she jumped up onto Artemis's desk.

"Give me those," Artemis lunged for her. She swung away and landed behind him.

"Nahhhhh!"

"That is about the most childish thing I've ever heard." he replied crossing his arms.

"I like that word so don't-HEY!" Artemis had lunged out and hit her behind the knees, causing her to fall.

"Now would you give me the file?"

"No,"

"Miss. Nuhad I must insist that you hand it over." Dea sat up and pretended to be pondering his words.

Well, I have to say, neesh!" Dea called as she ran out the door.

Artemis gave a groan and ran after her. He wasn't in such bad shape that he couldn't chase her.

"Catch me." Dea swerved and headed for the main hallway.

"Miss. Nuhad! Get back here!" Artemis said.

"No!" Dea turned back and looked at him. Then turned around and slid down the long banister.

"Wha-"

"Come on. Slid down and I'll give you the file." Artemis frowned at her then sat down carefully on the banister.

"Must I-"

"Yea-but I could just..." Dea turned around to leave when _WHAM_ Artemis hit her in the back, knocking her to the ground.

"Surrender?"

"Yea, just one question. Where did you learn to slid like that."

"It's all a matter of the law of gravity, really."

"Forget I asked," said Dea sighing defeat and heading back up. "Sure there's no loophole in the law of gravity stating crazy teens can slid up stairs?" she asked.

"Certainly positive," Artemis smiled and jogged to catch up with Dea.

--------(AN: hehehe I get the most OC Artemis Award)------------------------------

"Father?" Artemis knocked on the office door.

"Eh?"

"May I come in?"

"Yes. For God's sake, boy. Hurry up."

"Ah, yes. Good evening Father. I have some upsetting news."

"Eh, well spit it out I have no time for you."

"Yes, sir."

"Well?" Artemis Sr. spun in his chair to face Artemis

"I discovered this file in my room. I thought you should take a look at."

"Give it here." Artemis handed the folder to his Father.

"Eh..." Artemis Sr. scanned the page as his eyes slowly widened.

"Your employee? Your employee?"

"Yes, sir."

"When did you do this?"

"When I was five, sir. I believe you were in Australia that year on a business venture."

"This is all very well, but do you have my signature on the document stating that I am no longer employing him?"

"Yes sir."

"Impossible. I've never signed anything of the sort."

"Yes you did. On the nineteenth of-"

"Listen, Artemis. I do not have time for your games. Now fine. I signed that document. Butler will be back here in two weeks, As you wish. Can you please leave and close the door on your way out?"

"Yes sir." Artemis paused for a second watching his father work.

"Why are you not gone yet? I have very important business to attend to, _legal_ business."

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."In two weeks? Are you nuts? What if someone tries to attack you between now and then?"

"I know how to defend myself."

"Not against professionals."

"Who would attack me?"

"And the bazzilion death threats that come everyday are just normal lifetime experiences?"

"Yes, and none of them have gotten past the Manor defenses." Artemis frowned a little voice in his head was saying _most haven't, don't forget about the fairies._

"Aww...poor Ary gets death threats. Personally I would like that. Makes you feel special."

"You are right."

"I always am. But enlighten me. What am I right about?"

"I need a bodyguard. I have a meeting coming up."

"Go hire one."

"Yes, but they need to be good." Artemis sat down on a chair. "Very good."

"Get one of Butler's friends."

"Butler's friends?"

"Yes, O smart one. Friends."

"I suppose you want me to break into Butler's room and see if he has an address book?" said Artemis is a you've-got-to-be-kidding-me tone.

"Yep! I'll help."

----------------------------------------------

It was later that evening. Dinner was finished and being cleared away by a lesser maid. Dea was waiting for Artemis by the entrance to the Lodge.

"You're later," she snapped.

"I had to walk," Artemis sniffed.

"Oh yes and two minute walk is _such_ a difficult thing."

Artemis glared at her. He had changed into another suit. One more suited to the cooler August evenings. Dea was still in jeans and a T-shirt.

"Move," he ordered.

"No! Why?"

"Because I need to open the door," Artemis stated in the tone of one explaining that two plus two is four.

"Well fine then." Dea moved to the side allowing Artemis to unlock the door to the Lodge.

"I have disabled all other security measures so we should have no problem getting in."

"That's good then. Goddess knows I wouldn't wan to get blown up because I flipped something I thought was the light switch."

Artemis frowned at her and led the way into the Lodge. There wasn't much to see. Just a long hall way, a staircase and three doors. "The one on the right is Butler's room," said Artemis.

"What's the code?"

"I'm not sure," said Artemis fiddling with the lock on Butler's door. "Probably something impossible to guess."

"Let me try."

"Try what?"

"To open it."

"What for?" Asked Artemis, smirking.

"So we can get in."

"Why do you want to open the lock if it's already open?"

"Wha-? Grrr, you're pure evil," Dea said as she walked past the opened lock and into the room, smacking Artemis on the arm. "Okay, were do we start?"

"I would suggest the desk?" There really wasn't much in Butler's room. A desk, a bed, a closet, a TV and a bookshelf were just about it.

"You try the bloody desk. I'm busy," said Dea.

"And what are you busy with?"

"Watching you go through the desk."

Artemis glared at her and opened on of the desk drawers. Inside was a pencil, piece of paper and address book.

"What do you think?" He asked holding it up.

"Uh I dunno. Which way did he go George. Which way did he go?" Said Dea in a stupid sing song voice. "Try opening it."

"I was just asking if you think we should try it or keep looking."

"Uh huh. Yeah. This will do. Lets look these people up." Artemis pulled out his laptop from his briefcase and started to type. After a few minutes he sighed.

"Most are dead."

"Anyone left?"

"Three people. Cayl Ashfords, Virginia Collins, and Liam Smith."

"Which one?"

"Ashfords is in England, Smith lives some where near by, Collins is in also England. I suggest we visit Smith first."

"Okay, can I drive?"

"No,"

"Please?"

"No, and no more discussing it."

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They pulled up to an tired, old-looking, cottage with a barbed-wire fence surrounding it. Three giant mastiffs were in the yard and security cameras covered every inch of the yard. Dea hopped out as Artemis pulled to a stop. Artemis then got out and proceed to ring the gate bell.

"Who's there?"

"Artemis Fowl Junior along with Dea Nuhad. Please do let us in so we may have a civilized conversation rather than yell across a fence."

"Step on through. And hurry up."

They stepped through the gate, passed by the mastiffs, who on closer examination looked to be ancient, and gingerly opened the front door.

"Hello? Who the hell is home?" Called Dea.

"Come in, come in. Artemis Fowl, Butler's charge? Where is he? Not here? Ah, that is to bad we haven't talked in ages. I believe the last time we talked we were discussing, and my who are you? Oh you must be Dea. What a pleasure it is. And why are you here?" The man, Liam Smith was around forty. His faced was lined and a few scars covered his arms. He looked to be about six feet in height, and paranoid.

"You are an acquaintance of Butler?" It was more of a statement that question.

"Well, yes I am. Why don't we head into the video room. I'm sure we would be much more comfortable." The man led the way into a little room filled with screens that were all blank.

"Do any of these things work?"

"Why of course they all work! See here you can see the front gate, look!" The man pointed at on of the blank screens "And there are the doggies! Watching the gate like always. Such good security."

Artemis looked at the screen once more, definitely blank.

"Do you mind if we ask you some questions? Have you graduated from Madame Ko's academy?"

"No and no. I dropped out to worked at a security center. You see this camera?" He pointed to one of the top screens, "Got that one for free, one of the best there is."

"Have you ever worked as a bodyguard?"

"No, but I am very skilled in security. Take a look at this..." the man headed of towards yet another blank screen.

"Well someone's off their rocker," Dea hissed. Artemis turned towards the man.

"Thank you, but we are in no further need of your services." The man didn't notice.

"Let's just go, he'll never notice."

They pulled up to the next residence, a large townhouse. When the rang the bell they were greeted by a large number of shouts and a high pitched squawk.

"Hello?" A man peered out the door.

"I am Artemis Fowl, I am here to interview you for a possible position as my bodyguard."

"Oh. My goodness. No, no. no! I sing now."

"Can we just ask you a few question?" Dea stuck her foot in the door.

"Oh very well. Well, well, well, WELL!" The man sang going up the scale. Artemis winced.

"Have you had any body guarding experience at all?"

"Oh of course I should have played the part of the guard in my latest musical, but no! I was a stage hand! Me with my beautiful singing skills! Ah what has this world come to? But you will listen to my songs? Listen? Okay here I go." He started to sing a very long opera note. Artemis stood up.

"Thank you but I believe we shall be going now."

"What you don not want to listen to me sing? Ah curses on you!" The man picked up a book and threw it at the floor. "Ah why you no listen to me? MY life is a misery, ah, ah, ah!" the man started up the scale again.

"Okay bye, bye Mr. I need a life," said Dea as they quickly exited the building.

As Artemis started the car Dea started to wonder out loud.

"Are all of them going to be this weird?"

"How would I know? Does it seem to you that I can tell the future? Because I cannot."

"Well what do you know about this person?"

"Well Virginia Collins, graduated from Madame Ko's academy. She currently resides in England She does not work. Check to see if she's home."

"How the heck would I do that?"

"Open the computer and go to the folder that says surveillance. The click on the file that says VIRGINIA COLLINS. Really, I was hoping you would be able to figure that out on your own, but apparently I overestimated your thinking capabilities."

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AN okay that was seriously blah but im having a writers block so I think I'm gonna focus on one shots....I should get the next ch up by Feb...hopefully....OKAY ALL REVIEWERS!!!

PLEASE HELP ME !!! My friend came up with a theory...tell me what you think and if I should work it into the story. Okay Butler would be twenty two when Juliet was born? We never find out anything about their parents so it could be possible that Butler is Juliet's father but he never told her....whaddya think? OKAY REVIEW!!!


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